Are People Disposable? A Journey from Frustration to Repairing Relationships

I’ll never forget the day I stood in the grocery store parking lot, staring at my reusable bags and feeling utterly defeated. The governor had outlawed plastic bags in our state, and my once-effortless grocery hauls felt like a logistical nightmare. It wasn’t just the inconvenience; it was the frustration of change. Something I had taken for granted—those flimsy, disposable bags—was suddenly gone.

That frustration stayed with me for days. And then, one morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I wasn’t just upset about plastic bags. I was realizing something much bigger about life.

How often do we treat people like disposable bags?

We pull from them what we need—encouragement, attention, help, or affirmation—and when we’re done, we toss them aside, moving on to the next person. At the time, I could think of a few people I’d “disposed of” in my own life. And maybe even more painfully, I could recall times when I’d been discarded by others.

This realization led me to a critical question: Is this the way life was meant to be?

I don’t think so. Relationships aren’t meant to be disposable. They’re meant to be valuable, messy, and sacred. So, how do we move away from the “disposable mindset” and bring honor back to our relationships? How do we repair the connections we’ve written off, without stepping back into unhealthy dynamics or abusive patterns?

The Survival Mindset

Often, our tendency to dispose of relationships stems from living in a survival mindset. When life feels chaotic or uncertain, our instincts tell us to focus only on what we need to survive. We let go of anything—and anyone—that doesn’t directly serve that purpose.

This mindset is understandable in times of crisis. Survival mode helps us make quick decisions and preserve our energy. But what happens when the crisis is over?

If we continue to live in a survival mentality during a time of peace, we risk missing out on the richness of relationships. We stay in a defensive, transactional way of living that prioritizes utility over connection. The question we need to ask ourselves is: Am I still living in survival mode, even though my circumstances no longer require it?

3 Steps to Repair Relationships and Restore Honor

1. Acknowledge the Damage
   The first step to repairing a broken relationship is acknowledging where things went wrong. Was there a misunderstanding? A harsh word? A failure to prioritize the relationship? Sometimes we have to swallow our pride and admit that we played a role in the disconnect.

   Practical Tip: Write down what happened from your perspective. Be honest with yourself about your contribution to the breakdown.

2. Extend and Ask for Grace
   Repairing a relationship often requires both extending forgiveness and seeking it. It’s not about forcing reconciliation but offering a sincere apology or expression of grace.

   Practical Tip: Reach out with a simple message. It could be as straightforward as, “I miss the connection we had and would love to make things right if you’re open to it.”

3. Commit to Change
   Repair is only meaningful if it’s followed by change. Relationships require effort, consistency, and intentionality. Decide what you can do differently moving forward to honor the person and the relationship.

   Practical Tip: Create a small habit that prioritizes the relationship, like scheduling regular check-ins or actively listening when you’re together.

Reclaiming Peace Through Connection

It’s important to note that not every relationship is healthy to return to. If a connection was marked by abuse, manipulation, or toxicity, then the best repair might be setting firm boundaries or letting it go entirely.

But for those relationships worth salvaging, there’s incredible beauty in the repair. When we step out of survival mode and into peace, we’re able to see people for who they truly are—not as tools for our benefit, but as reflections of the God-given design for connection.

When I finally embraced reusable bags, I noticed something strange. Those bags were sturdier. They held more groceries, lasted longer, and felt more meaningful. Maybe the same is true of relationships: when we stop treating them as disposable, they become stronger, more intentional, and deeply fulfilling.

So, who in your life have you written off? What repairs could you start making today? Take a moment to reflect: Am I living in a survival mentality, during a time of peace? The journey might not be easy, but the reward of restored relationships is worth it.